And another thing!

Been busy.

With what? Nothing really. Oh, I mean, I've been role playing and that's definitely something so I suppose I lied. Aside from that, not much. I talk to people on MSN, don't hold many conversations and I sit in the house and Veg about nothing. I stood in my mom's bedroom today and told her about one of the RP's and danced around because I'm still so active and she was crawling into bed. Sad story, but very true.

My brother got a call from the guy I'm supposed to start dating and my mom gives me the phone and we talk about nothing in particular. I'm still upset about the fact that he had a panty party and people of the opposite gender were present and they were playing his guitar. Petty? A little. What can I say, he said he would wait and he hung out in his boxers with girls more attractive than me, what am I supposed to do? I'm not jealous, not really, if he doesn't want me then fine, but he shouldn't do things like that if he's 'waiting'. I dislike it when people don't do what they say they will.

I'm a little tired of some of my friendships, I'm slowly realizing. I become more fond of some a restless with others. I wonder how we got so far off track? We started off on the same path and now we're walking in opposite directions. Let me share something with you; If you like me more than I like you, we're having problems. I don't know how else to say it, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I don't want to go out of my way to do it, but it's there, it's obvious and it's apparent; When you don't want to hug me, I'm more likely to want to hug you. So if you spend a long time wanting a hug from me and get it, I'm less and less willing to want to embrace you in return.

What's up with people hating on man hugs anyway? I want to be the man and I want to man to be the woman. We're reversed. I like it that way. So feel free to laugh about how I pat backs, just realize that I'm not going to change it and it makes me want to hug you even less than I already do.

The only time it kills me to not be close with someone is when I'm talking to them. If they're far away or living life, I get upset when they try to include me, aware of the distance. If you're on another continent and you're bragging about something that occured, well goodness, I hope you get raped and die. I can't enjoy the moment with you because it'll make me insanely jealous or envious and if that's what you're looking for, be my guest.

I've gotten into the habit of acting stupid/clumbsy/etc. so that people don't feel intimidated around me. It's kind of hurting my public image but what can I really say, you know? The people I like are attracted to the intimidating side of me but it makes it hard to be around me, so I get that whole cutesy/loud/boisterous thing going and it works out relatively fine.

I lie a lot. I'm weird. Boo.